I'm sorry that it took so long.
I needed to process a lot of information :-)
All time favourite music:Guns N' Roses - You Could Be Mine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEfYUG_9vYYCommentary: I was 12. My mom died 2 years earlier and I still wasn’t able to process it. Adam from our class whose brother died of suicide and Adam was externalizing his emotions violently, beating up some of the kids and openly opposing the teachers, suggested I should listen to GN’R “because you’ll like it”. Axl had it all for me. He didn’t care about anything. I didn’t understand the domestic violence then (I think I remember that he wasn’t the cutest boyfriend...), so I didn’t condemn that at that time. He had outbursts of anger. He dressed in flashy clothes. He had a really bad youth, yet managed to get to the top. Also, my brother was telling me that I was “swapped in the hospital”, because I don’t look that much like rest of our family. But, strangely, I looked quite similar to Axl, to Arnold Schwarzenegger, to Dolph Lundgren. Now I know it would be called an influence of “Cromagnoid race”, but then I was feeling an almost “spiritual connection” with those guys. There was also a “Mean Trio” in my school class. When I was smiling, I showed my gums. So they often approached me and their “chieftain” Magda used to say to me: “Jan... show your gums”. I knew that beating up girls was not allowed, so my plan was to eradicate all the feelings, be robot-like, exactly like Arnie was in Terminator. Now I think my mechanical walking from that time gave a lot of amusement for some people, but then I saw it as a “reasonable” strategy :-) When we were finishing school and preparing for the next one, the maths teacher gave me top mark and Magda got the lower one. She shouted at the teacher that such a “nothing” as Jan shouldn’t get better mark than she. Math exams for a new school turned out to be much harder than in previous years. I passed the exam. Magda didn’t manage to do that. I had a warm fuzzy feeling of victory when I found out about it. I often find out that even now I tap the opening percussion rhythm of the song with my fingers when I wait for something. My wife laughs at me that I have a “snake dance” (Axl used to dance like that in some of his performances). Those guys taught me to regulate outbursts of emotions with music.
Pantera - Cemetery Gates
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVMvART9kb8Commentary: They released a LP with this song in 1990. A year after my mom died after 3 years of fight with cancer. The first LP I heard of them was their 1994 album. My aunt from USA sent me a t-shirt with cover of this 1994 LP printed on it. I got intruigued and bought this album. I loved them. My father laughed at me, that “Pan tera a pan potem” (“You Mr now, and you Mr after him” in Polish, a wordplay on band’s name). I didn’t know English well then, but now I find an interesting coincidence that this song exactly processes my own feelings (“And when she died I should've cried and spared myself some pain…”) from that time and was probably written at the same time when my mom died. I didn’t cry at the funeral. A few months later I dropped the whole wardrobe on myself and started to cry and my father instead of checking if I am OK beat me up, “because I cried when feeling sorry for myself and didn’t cry at my mom’s funeral”.
Dead Can Dance - The Carnival Is Over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPDLJ1UU2UkCommentary: I somewhat “remembered” this video when I “first saw it” (or maybe I really saw it before). It’s so peaceful and I love the underlying theme / pattern in this song. It is also “strange”. Also, this is a song singed by Brendan Perry. I think I like him more than Lisa Gerrard, I especially was feeling sorry for him when he was mourning his loss after splitting ways with Lisa Gerrard on his first solo album.
Arcturus - The Chaos Path
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBzsKt3LRzkFirst metal band that was strange. Those clothes and theatricity. I was at that time into "true" black metal and had some hard time even trying something new... but I tried and they started my adventure with this kind of stuff in metal. Also, the chaos path is, well, my path, as I often jokingly "pray to gods of chaos".
Pokemon intro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ferXnJM0GI8I think it was a time when I saw some light some time after my both parents were already dead. This song gives me energy, and is so child-like <3
Tom Waits - Downtown train
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLtZKkCIVmIStrange and sad and lovely music... at least for me :-)
Sia - Chandelier
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vjPBrBU-TMI heard it on the radio. At the similar time I heard “The Greatest”, so it was probably 2016. “It hit me like a bolt from the sky”. Pop. Pop that is intense, sad, loud, dramatic, maybe even a bit angry, full of sorrow. At that time I was still mostly into metal music. I was ashamed to admit I like some of the more commercial songs. It was enough for me that some of my friends were ashamed of me, because some other people called me a “fag” because of my clothing style (often bright, sometimes demonstrative, usually oddly matched). Sia was a breakthrough. It was a gradual change, but now I usually can look someone in the eyes and state that yes, I listen to pop too and your opinion about pop music, about me listening to it can’t affect me. Obviously, I instantly read Sia’s life story and felt a lot compassion and understanding for her and when she released a merry X-mas album it made me really happy that she seems to be healing. (All my top 5 Spotify songs from 2018 are from this album). Interesting, that Maddie Ziegler (the dancer) performs a role of an “ambassador” or “avatar” for Sia. (And that her dance is kind of “mechanical”). That’s the type of mutual help (Sia and Maddie) I like the most.
LSD - Audio
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjA7nAHOAwwI’m extremely happy that Sia “got her shit together”. I love LSD because there are three people who are from totally different backgrounds, yet they formed a whole and created a strange pop music. I see no coherent story in it, yet this randomness doesn’t seem to be disturbing. Last year I read an article that mentioned that after meeting Donald Trump and rejecting his proposal to do a selfie together, Sia got a “crazy diarrhea”. That made me feel even more connected to her mentally (diarrhea after stressful events, after asserting oneself).
David Hasselhoff - True Survivor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTidn2dBYbYAll my youth packed "nicely" into one music video. I do the gear change the same way as Kung Fury (the movie protagonist) does it :-P
Panic! At The Disco - High Hopes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPXIgEAGe4UI just love this guy. A surprised look that can be often seen on his face. He is somewhat a clown. He is a moralist. He loves his Ma and wants her to be proud of him. Diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, medicated. He managed to get to the top and is happily admitting it and enjoying his success, yet I somewhat “sense” he is still humble. His voice range is amazing. He doesn’t complicate things that can be told in a simple language. I was considering the other song as my favourite (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzbxacRr5Gk ), but I think “High Hopes” makes for a better “locomotive” for the album.
Music which I dislike:(I'm sorry that I do it to your ears... and eyes...)
The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtTR-_Klcq8Scooter - How Much Is The Fish?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbB3iGRHtqARight Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5mtclwloEQChumbawamba - Tubthumping
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCkmIyC6v00
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